Adventures In Theme Parks

     Yesterday, I went to Six Flags with an old friend. Let's rewind a bit back to the end of last week though. I had told another friend my biggest fear about going to a theme park, not being able to fit on the rides. I will say this once: I LOVE ROLLER COASTERS! Ok, now that I got that out of my system, here is a little background to that fear. 
     
     Flashback to July of last year when I vacationed in Orlando, Florida, with my boyfriend. I was able to ride most everything at Universal Studios. I tried the test seat for the Rip Ride Rocket and it just wasn't happening. Lucky for me, that ride was broken down most of the day. 
     
     Fast forward to Memorial Day weekend when my boyfriend took me to Dollywood. I was able to ride all of the roller coasters there with a lot of assistance. It is very embarrassing when you have two ride attendants to assist, one pushing down and one pulling the safety belt into the latch. You can just feel the frustration of the attendants and the other passengers. I can only imagine what they were thinking. 
    
      Fast forward again to March of this year. For my birthday/ two year anniversary my boyfriend took me to Dollywood again. We went with his friend and his friend's family. My boyfriend's friend and the friend's wife were to say the least just like me. We all had to have assistance. I have had many close calls, but until this time I had yet to be kicked off of a ride. All three of us were kicked off (my boyfriend did not do roller coasters so he was the babysitter of his friends two girls). It was very embarrassing. 
    
      Now to yesterday's theme park adventure. I went with an old friend of mine because me and my boyfriend had broken up two months prior. I needed the fun I had yesterday. The first roller coaster of the day was the Superman. I sat in the test seat and my friend pushed the harness down. To my surprise, It went all the way down without me being squished. Ironically, my friend was kicked off because his harness would not lock. He was allowed to try another seat after I rode and came to find out there was something wrong with the seat he was in initially. My day just got better from there! I rode the swings without the bar touching my stomach, and on other roller coasters I was able to lower the harness and buckle the safety restraint without any assistance!!!!!!!! I will call that a win and proof that my hard work is paying off!

A Little Note On Self Perception

     I technically (that is another story) started my weight loss journey January of 2014, when I bought the Insanity workout dvd's off of a Facebook selling group. I dove head first into the 60 day challenge. I am not going to lie, this was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I pushed hard. There were days that I would pause the workout and sit in the floor and cry, pray, and beg to make it through. I used Facebook to my advantage. Each day that I would finish a workout I would post 'Day such and such of Insanity completed'. Friends started encouraging me and keeping up with my progress. I will admit that even though I was losing inches and my body was changing, I was getting discouraged. You see, I actually gained weight during Insanity. Yes, I do know that muscle weighs more than fat, but it is still a mental thing. 
     
      As time went on, my clothes got looser and the number on the scale went down. I have now lost 45+ lbs since this time last year. Well, how can it be that when I look in the mirror I still see the same girl looking back at me that I did 12 months ago? No changes. 
     
     I have struggled with self-esteem issues for most, if not all, of my life. Most of the time I just feel awkward and invisible. I did, however, have sort of an epiphany a few days ago. I was looking through old pictures on my phone and I realized how different that I looked then. It was then that I decided to do what I think was one of the bravest things I have ever done. I took a full body mirror 'selfie' and placed it to the right of a picture that was taken of me a almost a year before and uploaded it to Facebook. I got so much positive feedback from it! It was a major boost to my confidence and just what I needed to keep me on track.
     
     The biggest problem that I think I have is how I perceive myself. Posting those pictures on Facebook was a major breakthrough. I have never done anything like that before, because I am the kind of person who is constantly thinking about what other people think about me. My mind is always racing and I over think things. It is something I am trying to work on. 
     
     This brings me to my next point about mirrors. So, I told you how I still see the same girl looking back at me when I look into the mirror. When you look in a mirror, or even when you have a photograph, you are seeing a reflection of 'you'. You never truly see yourself, you only see a reflection of yourself, and what you see is not what other people see. To end, I got a fortune cookie a few months ago and when I cracked it open and pulled out my fortune, it read, "Our first and last love is self love". I still have this taped to my computer at work as a little reminder to myself.